What Christmas Means To Me
by justanoutlaw
Summary: The times David & Emma stopped believing in Santa and the one time they realized the true meaning of the holiday.


Day 9 of Charming Family Christmas. Inspired by a commercial I saw, that included the actor that played Baby!David and Baby!James. Also, Happy Birthday to the amazing Joshua Paul Dallas. =) Hope it's full of magic and fun with your family.

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 _David_

Ruth didn't know what she was going to do. Robert would often go on benders, but this was different. He would've been home by then and besides, he had promised he would give up drinking. She had believed him, she had seen the look in his eyes. He wanted to reunite their family, become a better man, the one he had been before they were forced to give James up.

Now it was Christmas Morning and he was nowhere to be found. He had been due home days prior and she had no word from him. On top of her worry, there was the fact that he was due to bring home presents for David. They couldn't afford to spoil him on the holiday, but there were always at least a few small things. She had thought, perhaps, Robert was going to surprise them, but she was losing hope.

Looking around frantically, she tried to come up with some things she could quickly wrap. David still believed in Father Christmas and she wanted that to stick. She found a pair of his socks she was due to wash and one of Robert's books. She hoped that her son wouldn't recognize them, that she could still make Christmas magical for him.

After quickly wrapping them in some spare sacks, she rushed out into the main room. Her heart stopped when she found David standing there in his pajamas, staring at their tiny tree, with no presents beneath it. The look upon his face was one she had never seen before. He knew they were poor, he knew better than to ask for anything. Yet, Christmas was the one time of year he got a little something, at least a small toy to play with. The disappointment mixed with hurt written all over the 5-year-old was enough to make Ruth want to cry.

"David," she said, rushing over to him. He looked up at her, his face not changing. "Look, Father Christmas must have missed the tree!" She held up the items. "He left them in my room."

David stared at his mother, blinking a bit. He knew when his parents were lying to him and despite his mother's best efforts, he knew just what was going on. Father Christmas wasn't real. His father must have been in charge of the presents and since he was late-probably sick again-there were none that year.

He forced a small smile on his face. His mother was trying, he would have to as well. "Thank you, Mother," he whispered.

The smile didn't match his eyes and the one Ruth plastered on didn't either. "You open your presents, I'll make us some breakfast."

 _Emma_

It was her first Christmas since she had been taken out of the Smith's. She still didn't quite understand what had happened. By now she knew that she wasn't their daughter, but still, why would they give her up? It was a bit too much for the 4-year-old to understand. For the past few months, she had been staying with the Johnsons. They weren't the nicest people, not as warm as her parents had been. They didn't read her bedtime stories and sometimes they forgot to give her food. They had even forgotten her birthday, Emma only remembered because her social worker had come by with a small card for her.

But Christmas was different, in the 4-year-old's mind. The house had been decorated from top to bottom, there was even a tree. Ben and Kate's children seemed to be super excited about Santa coming, so Emma was too.

Christmas Morning, she hopped out of the bunk bed she shared with the other foster child that was living in the house and ran down the stairs. There were tons of presents under the tree and they moved closer, trying to find ones with their names on them. However, the harder they looked, the more they realized that there were none. Emma bit her lip, walking over to Ben.

"Where's my presents?"

Ben laughed, bitterly. "The presents are for our real children."

"Santa brings presents to every child," she said, softly.

"That would be if Santa was real." He rolled his eyes. "Your present is that you get to spend one more day in his house, despite my better judgement."

Emma felt tears gather in her eyes. Looking around the room, she saw pictures of her foster family's biological children. She would never belong, she would never be a part of any family. The fact was, she was just the unwanted bonus kid.

The lump of coal forced down everybody's throats.

 _Together_

David loved his wife. They were true love and they agreed on most things, they understood each other better than anyone else in the world.

Even so, she didn't get what a big deal Christmas was to him. She found it sweet that he had such a big heart and wanted to make sure everyone had an amazing Christmas. He'd always adopt a few less fortunate families and spend just as much as he would on his own family. Money was no object, obviously, and he never wanted anyone to go through what he did. Even so, she still made light jokes whenever he'd get yet another gift for Emma or Neal. She spoiled them just as much as he did and she obviously meant no harm, she just didn't get it.

Frankly, David was glad she didn't. His wife had been raised a princess. She didn't know the pain that he did. While she had been a bandit and learned the harsh realities of the world, as a child, she had good Christmases. He had heard stories of lovely meals and loads of presents under the tree. She even had a few good memories from when Regina was her step-mother. He didn't want anyone to feel how he had as a child.

Little did he realize, one of his own had gone through similar events that he had.

It all came to light when he ran out of places to stash Neal's toys. He headed up to Emma's room and opened her closet. He was shocked to find that it was stuffed to the brim with messily wrapped presents and gift bags.

"Trying to find your Christmas present?" She teased from the doorway. David turned around, chuckling a bit. "Don't worry, I didn't hide yours in there. Those are all Henry's."

"No, I just ran out of places to hide Neal's," he said. "Though, now that I see your stash for Henry alone, I wonder if we'll have any room left under the tree at all."

Emma shrugged. "It's a big tree. Though, Mom said the same thing."

"She's been teasing you too?"

"Yeah." She sighed. "Sometimes I forget that even though she was a bandit and understands me in some ways, she doesn't in others. Not in a bad way, I know she loves me and I love her, it's good she can't relate to this part."

David arched an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Growing up, she had amazing holidays. Regina's told me about the Christmases they had in that palace. Mom knows what I went through as a kid and I know it makes her go a little overboard herself, but I don't think it sunk in."

It slowly dawned on David. "I'm guessing your Christmases in the system weren't exactly a royal affair."

"I don't remember the first few years of my life, but I think I had good ones with the Smiths. My first one after they…well, after they had their kid," Emma frowned at the memory. "I was in a crappy foster home, they got their biological children presents, but none for the foster kids. That sort of set how things were my entire life."

David frowned. "Oh Emma…"

"It's okay." She shook it off. "Really, I'm over it. I guess I try to overcompensate as a result with Henry and Neal. I know you guys and Regina go overboard anyway with them, but I still remember what it was like…to wake up Christmas morning and feel that pain. To go to school after the break and listen to everyone talk about all the amazing gifts they got, when you were lucky if you even got to eat that day."

David and Emma sat on the bed together, him wrapping a protective arm around her.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all that," he whispered. "I…I never wanted that for you."

"Dad, it's fine. You and Mom did what you had to, to keep me safe. I don't blame you."

"Still." He shook his head. "When I was a kid, Christmases were never a grand affair. My parents did the best they could so I could feel the magic of the holiday. Then when I was 5, the year my father went missing, there weren't any presents. He was supposed to bring them. My mom tried to make it better, she wrapped up some stuff we had around the house, but it was too late, I had seen the empty tree. I learned Father Christmas wasn't real that year."

"Oh, Dad," Emma squeezed his hand, frowning.

"After that, things were pretty bad. We both tried to make it great for each other, but winters were often the worse for the farm. Mother was usually away trying to get us the best supplies. I never wanted you to be alone on Christmas."

"You had no way of knowing. Besides, we're together now." She laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"I'm sorry you did, too. Even so, the best Christmas I ever had was the one after the curse broke. The four of us, seeing your face when you saw all the gifts…it was 29 years too late, but it was amazing."

"That was my favorite too. Mom, Henry and I celebrated the holiday together under the curse, but that was the first time we were all a family." She let out a small, content sigh. "Maybe we should try to go a bit easier next year, remember what it's really about. We're together now, that's what's important."

"You're right." He kissed her temple. "I love you, Em."

"I love you too, Dad."


End file.
